I've been invited to be a guest blogger for New & Improved this week and I'm happy to be here. (It's about time I got my big literary break!). As someone who's been watching this whole "innovation thing" since the Stone Age, I think I'm more than qualified to give readers of this blog a little advice. And maybe save you from unneeded hassles (now, and in the future). So, listen up, youngster and I'll share a few tips with you that are guaranteed to spare you from the same painful mistakes I've seen so many others make before you. Here are my top 3 strategies:
1. Dominate: Let your team know who's boss. Get control of your team and lead with a firm hand. Who's the top gator in the swamp-- YOU ARE! People on an innovation team often use this role as an excuse to goof off. Put a stop to this messing around at the very first meeting, and repeat these mantras:
-That's a dumb idea.
-Tried it -- it didn't work.
-Are you nuts?
-We don't have budget for it.
-That's not on the critical path.
-Maybe next year.
Figure out some more yourself. It's not hard, and they're not paying me to do this blog, you know.
Use these sage pontifications as needed until people understand what you expect. This way you'll avoid three-hour meetings that leave you with a table full of donut crumbs and a white board full of dumb ideas that threaten to change your world.
2. Contain: Don't let people venture too far outside the norm. What's wrong with how things are done now? If it's broke -- use duct tape. Know your organization's mission statement by heart and post it in every conference room and every hallway - use it vigilantly to reject change that will pull you away from the tried and true. Stay inside of the container, whether it's a box, a garbage bin or a plastic bag. Containers protect things. And that's good. If you want to fool people into thinking you're really warm and fuzzy on the inside, reward everyone with a Twinkie and mark the moment with a team picture on Kodak film. They'll thank you for it and brag to their spouses about what a great boss you are.
3. Chase: Weed out the losers who try to change things. Their naivete makes them think things can get better than they already are. How silly. Make them run away. You'll soon spot them and their fancy new-fangledness. And although it may seem cruel, it's better for everyone to just git-er-done. Say buh-bye and give them the boot. Sure, seeing a few people disappear may make the others a bit uncomfortable, but a little bit of fear keeps people on their toes. This is what's meant by "standing tall" and we need more of it in this weak-kneed, low self-esteemed world we inhabit together. Hangout in the swamp with me for a while. That'll toughen you up for the hard calls I'm coaching you to make!
Follow my advice, and I guarantee your future success. You've got to admit it's pretty impressive what I've accomplished over the years, any way you look at it. The swamp - it's mine. You should be jealous. Or remember that it's April Fool's Day!
**So, exactly who is this Frank T. Gator character? The gator is our metaphor for the most common block to productive thinking, to innovation, to effective teamwork: Our own tendency to behave and think in primitive ways. When we're being "gators," or engaging in our primitive patterns, we have a tendency to fight with, flee from or ignore new thinking. The good news is that with a bit of vigilance and training, you can overcome the primitive instincts of the "Gator Brain." And that's why New & Improved exists. Not to be litigators or tailgators, but anti-gators. And sometimes instigators of change.
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